


Oh, that's so sweet of you

by FandomTrashcan



Series: But i'm only human [2]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Connor gets high, Gen, Hank wasn't prepared, I promise, Its Not Sexual, Oral Fixation, this might be crack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2019-06-10 06:58:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15286209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FandomTrashcan/pseuds/FandomTrashcan
Summary: Gavin thought giving Connor lollipop would not only stop their disappearing pen problem,  but also be a nice peace offering.He was wrong.Oh, so very wrong.(You can read this as a standalone, but if you want to read the first part you might get the dynamic more.)





	Oh, that's so sweet of you

**Author's Note:**

> You don't know how much joy it brought me to write this ^^
> 
> No warnings, everything is good. For the first time in this series
> 
> Happy reading:D

Connor’s p.o.v.

 

_ Italics: Thoughts _

Straight:Original programming/Scanning

(Exposition, because holy hell… I can’t do shit in Connor’s p.o.v. without it.

So suffer with me.)

~~ Line: Read it or skip it. You’ll know why. ~~

“Talking”

  
  
  


All processors online.

All scanners standing by……

 

_ Time for a productive day. _

_ It’s good to be back. _

 

(It had been a few weeks since… The incident. Connor had been...coping, with everything that happened.)

 

_ Well… I have been trying to to the best of my abilities. _

 

(Ever since the kidnapping Connor had been… what one would qualify on edge. Everyone had been really nice about it. Hank had been pushing him to talk to someone… anyone about it. Which Connor found a bit hypocritical. Oh well…

 

Hank, along with Markus did really help him though. It was not perfect, but he was trying. And now he was back working for the Detroit police department.)

 

_ I do not have to, but I want to.  _

_ Hank and I will be partners again. _

_ And I can watch all the antics that go on in the PD. _

 

(This also means dealing with Gavin- I will kick your ass, I will kick everyone's ass, I will kick my OWN ass- Reed. Hank’s words, not his. And oh boy, did Connor have to deal with all of Reed’s annoying interactions.) 

 

“Hey, vacuum! You suck!”

_ I do not think I approve of these… puns… _

 

 

“So, you are being a mean little police officer now. Are you sure you’re ready to face the big mean world? Maybe you should just, I don’t know, crawl back into the fucking Cyberlife hole you came from.”

_ I don't remember when my existence started, so that makes that very difficult. What is existances anyway. No, no, no. Not going there… Again… _

 

 

“You know I fucking hate you right?” 

_ Obviously. While this was not a difficult conclusion to reach, North has told me he might just be what some people call: a Tsundere. After doing researches into the term, I can only conclude I need more data. _

 

 

“Get me a coffee.”

_ Sigh… _

 

 

“Hey, robo dick, did something go wrong in your production or did your face just always look like that. Oh that one was great. I’m so good at these jokes.”

_ Well, they did make Connor want to throw him out the window. But he would just comment on striking assault of the: Robo cop destroys humanity one offence at a time- list. Yes. That exists. It was hanging on the bulletin board last friday. _

 

 

“Cyberlife must have a sense of humour after all.”

_ This guy just kept commenting on his looks. He might have to agree with North on her Tsundere-theory. _

 

 

“Hey, robo boy! Did you ever consider we don’t want your kind in the PD?! Your kind being little bitches. HAHA, fuck you.”

_ Last time I checked I was not a elementary school teacher model…  _

 

 

_ “ _ Stop putting pens in your mouth. It’s fucking gross _.” _

_ Oh right. I, somehow, picked up a bad habit. Hank does not seem to care. _

Memory #Hank: “As long as it's not piss, I don't give a shit about what ya put in your mouth.” 

_ I have yet to put urine in my mouth, so I am, as Hank would say, going strong. _

 

_ But the pens are becoming a bit of a problem… When you bite through them and leak ink on every possibly inconvenient spot.  _

 

 

“Hey robo cop!”

 

Scanning…….

No signs of aggression detected.

_ Well, that is an improvement. He has yet to reach critical annoyance levels. _

“Good day, Officer Reed. What can I help you with today?”

“Well, you seem to make steady progress on eating your way through all the pens we have in the fucking building. So it is high time for an intervention.”

_ Oh...No… _

 

Scanning……

Unidentified object in Gavin Reed left hand.

_ Stay calm. _

Negotiation protocol initiated.

_ Just in case. _

 

“And what, exactly, is this intervention? Should I worry?” 

“Oh no, not this time. If I keep attacking you without pause, you might get used to it. Develop defense mechanisms or some creepy robo-learning technique. Gotta keep you on your toes.”

“I would like to, once again, remind you that I am an android and could break your nose and sprain the third mushel of your arm, without damaging anything else. Defence mechanisms are in place.”

 

Gavin Reed is getting agitated.

Stress up: 8%

 

“Well, ANYWAY! I decided to get you something else to chew on. Or suck, because you that's just what you do. It’s just a normal lollipop, it's not poisoned this time, promise. Or well, I have a whole bag for you. Enjoy.”

_ Poisoned? This time?And he just left. Just like that… What am I going to do with all of these… _

 

Scanning…..

No traces of harmful substances detected.

_ I might as well try them. I have been dismantling a lot of pens.  _

 

(So he did.)

 

Receiving information….

Prosessing….

 

#  Definition of _lollipop_ in English:




##  **lollipop**

###  **NOUN**

  * **1** A large, flat, rounded boiled sweet on the end of a stick.
  * Example sentences


  1. **1.1** _informal_ A short, entertaining, but undemanding piece of classical music.
  2. _‘a disc of lollipops with the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra’_
  3. More example sentences



Origin

Late 18th century: perhaps from dialect lolly ‘tongue’ + pop.

Pronunciation

lollipop

/ˈlɒlɪpɒp/

 

_ Oh that's weird. I seem to be prosessing more information than usual. _

 

~~ Lollipop ~~

~~ From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia ~~

~~ For other uses, see  Lollipop (disambiguation) . ~~

~~A lot of the rainbow-swirl lollipop~~  
  
---  
  
~~Alternative names:~~

| 

~~Lolly, sucker, sticky-pop~~  
  
~~Type:~~

| 

~~Confectionery~~  
  
~~Main ingredient:~~

| 

~~Sucrose , corn syrup, flavoring~~  
  
~~Variations:~~

| 

~~Ice pops~~  
  
~~Cookbook uses term: Lollipop~~

~~Media uses term: Lollipop~~  
  
~~A lollipop is a type of sugar candy usually consisting of hard candy mounted on a stick and intended for sucking or licking. Different informal terms are used in different places, including lolly, sucker, sticky-pop, etc. Lollipops are available in many flavors and shapes.~~

 

 

_ Oh I knew that. _

 

 

~~ Types ~~

 

~~ Lollipops are available in a number of colors and flavors, particularly fruit flavors. With numerous companies producing lollipops, the candy now comes in dozens of flavors and many different shapes. They range from small ones which can be bought by the hundred and are often given away for free at  banks ,  barbershops , and other locations, to very large ones made out of  candy canes twisted into a circle. ~~

 

_ So they are used as a reward. I think I knew that too. _

 

~~ Most lollipops are eaten at room temperature, but " ice lollipops ", "ice lollies", or "popsicles" are frozen water-based lollipops. Similar confections on a stick made of  ice cream , often with a flavored coating, are usually not called by this name. ~~

 

_ Hank shoved one in my face when I was annoying once. It was an absolute mess. _

 

~~Some lollipops contain fillings, such as bubble gum or soft candy. Some novelty lollipops have more unusual items, such as mealworm larvae, embedded in the candy.~~

 

_ Humans seem to desire eating thing not traditionally meant for eating. Bug do contain less calories than most foods. _

 

~~ Other novelty lollipops have non-edible centers, such a flashing light, embedded within the candy; there is also a trend ~~

_ Where? _

~~ of lollipops with sticks attached to a motorized device that makes the entire lollipop spin around in one's mouth. ~~

~~ In the  Nordic countries ,  Germany , and the  Netherlands , some lollipops are flavored with  salmiak . ~~

~~ Medicinal use ~~

~~ Lollipops can be used to carry medicines. ~~

~~ Some lollipops have been marketed for use as  diet aids , although their effectiveness is untested, and  anecdotal cases of weight loss may be due to the  power of suggestion . Flavored lollipops containing medicine are intended to give children medicine without fuss. ~~

_ Human keep surprising me. They care so much about the little things. It's absolutely wonderful. _

~~ Actiq is a powerful  analgesic lollipop whose active ingredient is  fentanyl . This makes for fast action; the lollipop is used, for example, by the military, and is not a way to make medicine palatable to children. ~~

_ Oh… _

 

~~ History ~~

_ Ready to learn. _

 

~~ Tootsie Roll Pops ~~

~~ The idea of an edible candy on a stick is very simple, and it is probable that the lollipop has been invented and reinvented numerous times. The first confectioneries that closely resemble what we call lollipops date to the  Middle Ages , when the nobility would often eat boiled sugar with the aid of sticks or handles. [4] ~~

~~ The invention of the modern lollipop is still something of a mystery but a number of American companies in the early 20th century have laid claim to it. According to the book Food For Thought: Extraordinary Little Chronicles of the World, they were invented by George Smith of  New Haven ,  Connecticut , who started making large boiled sweets mounted on sticks in 1908. He named them after a racehorse of the time, Lolly Pop [5] \- and trademarked the lollipop name in 1931. ~~

 

_ Oh wow. They have been around for a long time. _

~~ The term 'lollipop' was recorded by English lexicographer  Francis Grose in 1796. [7] The term may have derived from the term "lolly" (tongue) and "pop" (slap). The first references to the lollipop in its modern context date to the 1920s.  Alternatively, it may be a word of Romany origin being related to the Roma tradition of selling  toffee apples sold on a stick. Red apple in the  Romany language is loli phaba. ~~

 

~~ Ingredients ~~

~~ The main ingredient in a standard lollipop is sugar.  ~~

 

_ Hank needs to lower his sugar intake. _

~~ Sugars are fully hydrated carbon chains meaning that there is a water molecule attached to each carbon. ~~

_ And it has two forms. _

~~ Sugars come in two forms;  ~~

_ Yes, that is what I just mentioned. _

~~ straight-chain and ring form. When sugars are in straight-chain form, aldehyde and ketone groups are open which leaves them very susceptible to reaction. In this state, sugars are unstable. In ring form, sugars are stable and therefore exist in this form in most foods, including lollipops. ~~

_ Stability is very important when dealing with something as fragile as a human. _

~~ Sugar is a very versatile ingredient and is used in many of food and products we consume every single day. What makes sugar different is the way it interacts with the other ingredients and systems within the food as well as how it is treated. When it is heated enough to break the molecules apart, it generates a complex flavor, changes the color, and creates a pleasing aroma. Sugar can form two types of solids in foods; crystalline and glassy amorphous. Crystalline solids can be found in food products like fondant, fudge, and butter creams. Glassy amorphous solids can be found in products like lollipops, marshmallows, and caramels. Glassy amorphous solids result when moderate sugar concentrations (50% solutions) are heated to high temperatures which nearly eliminates all moisture. The final moisture content is around 1%-2%, whereas the final moisture content in crystalline candies is 8%-12%. The non-crystalline nature of glassy amorphous solids is due to the presence of inhibitors in the solution. Without an inhibitor, crystallization would occur spontaneously and rapidly as sugar cools due to its high concentration. Some common inhibitors used in lollipop production are corn syrup, cream of tartar, honey, and butter. ~~

_ Wait, what was I doing again? _

~~ The second most important ingredient in lollipop production is water. Even though at the end of the lollipop making process, the moisture content falls to less than 2%, the starting process involves water. All other ingredients used in the process of lollipop production are optional. The use of inhibitors is dependent on the type of sugar used. The amount of inhibitor in the lollipop is usually small in comparison to the amount of sugar used. On top of that, additional flavors, colorings, and inclusions (like bubble gum or a tootsie roll) can be added to the final product, but are not a part of the main structure of a simple lollipop. ~~

_ What time is it anyway? Oh the creation of the lollipop is up next! _

~~ Manufacturing ~~

~~ Although the main functional ingredients of a lollipop are quite simple, the actual process of making this product is where things start to get complicated. It has already been stated that a glassy amorphous structure is a non-crystalline solid. However, the formation and physical state of this glass has a lot of chemistry and physics behind it. The first step in making lollipops after mixing the main ingredients is the heating process. During heating, the molecules increase in their translational mobility and therefore become liquid-like. [11] Although it can be found that many hard candies are heated to about 310˚F, the temperature that the solution is heated to is dependent on the specific volume and contents of the mixture. After heating is complete, the solution can then be cooled. The final cooled solution is a supersaturated due to the fact that the moisture content drops to below 2%. Supersaturated or supercooled liquids are also formed due to the fact that crystallization is being inhibited. They are unstable because crystallization is a favored reaction in this case. During the cooling process, the most important physicochemical characteristic of lollipops is occurring. This process is called glass transition. ~~

~~ Glass transition ~~

~~ Glass transition is the solid-liquid transformation of amorphous material. It is a reversible change of the solid and liquid states of supercooled liquids. Glass transition occurs approximately 100˚C-150˚C below the equilibrium melting temperature of a pure substance. [11] This dynamic transition is not a change of state, but a change of phase. It can be looked at in terms of a change in the molecular motion of the liquid, not a change in the molecular order itself. This transition from liquid to solid is what defines the physical appearance of a standard lollipop. The result of the glass transition is a kinetically static state of a supercooled liquid. Prior to this, as stated before, the liquid was unstable. ~~

_ Awh, was that all of it. I was enjoying that random dump of information. _

~~ See also ~~

  | 

~~Wikimedia Commons has media related to Lollipop.~~  
  
---|---  
  
 

  | 

~~Look up lollipop in Wiktionary, the free dictionary.~~  
  
---|---  
  
  * ~~Chupa Chups~~
  * ~~Clear toy candy~~
  * ~~Dum Dum Pop~~
  * ~~Hard candy~~
  * ~~Stick candy~~
  * ~~Tootsie Pops~~
  * ~~Whistle Pops~~



 

_ Hmmmm… Not right now…  _

More data required.

_ Oh, let’s take a look. _

 

Opening new file…. Lollipop fun facts.                                                             

_ There is more! _

 

~~ Lollipops ~~

_ Why is the text popping up pink? _

~~ are a favorite with both kids and adults; whether you prefer a classic  crystal stick or a mouth-puckering  sour charm pop , lollipops are a fun and tasty treat that keep little hands from getting too sticky.  ~~

_ Am I going insane. _

~~ Do you know the weight of the largest lollipop ever created? Or how about the secret behind the Dum Dum Pop’s mystery flavor? Learn the answers to these questions and more in today’s blog! ~~

_ Is this what a sugar high feels like? _

 

~~ Did you know these fun facts about lollipops?< ~~

_ I don't know...Did I? _

##  ~~ Fun lollipop facts ~~

  * ~~Lollipops have been around for a very long time. Ancient African and Asian societies created fruit and nut treats that they candied in honey, which acted as a natural preservative. They inserted a stick into the treats to make them easier to eat.~~



_ This is amazing! _

  * ~~The lollipops we know and love today began to emerge in the 17th century. As sugar became more widely affordable and available, Europeans enjoyed creating boiled sugar confections and they also inserted sticks to keep the treats from getting their hands sticky.~~



_ Ugh, sticky hands are the worst. Thankfully the PD has excellent soap. _

  * ~~In 1908, the first lollipop machine was created. It automated the process of placing hard candy on sticks – the machine could create more than 2,000 lollipops every hour! <~~



_ THAT IS SO PRODUCTIVE!!! _

  * ~~The Dum Dum Pop’s mystery flavor isn’t such a mystery. It is created when a batch of one flavor is running out and they begin a new one in the same vat, so you never know which two flavors will be combined!~~



_ Hm, I do not like mystery all that much. Which is why it is now my job to solve mysteries. _

  * ~~In 2012, the world’s largest lollipop was created in California. A candy manufacturer made a chocolate-flavored lollipop that stood over 5 feet tall and weighed more than seven thousand pounds!~~



_ I am certain I can throw that at ten meters. (Autor: I'm Dutch, we use meters.)  _

  * ~~The label for Chupa Chup lollipops was designed and illustrated by the famed surrealist artist Salvador Dali.~~



_ Markus draws too. It's really pretty. _

  * ~~Tootsie Roll is the largest manufacturer of lollipops: they produce over 16 million sweet suckers every single day!~~



_ Holy robo jesus! Or Markus. Take your pick. That is a lot of candy _

  * ~~Dum Dum lollipops were given their name because the inventor felt it would be an easy name for children to pronounce and remember.~~



_ Because that is what most human children are. Dum dums. _

~~ Got a lollipop craving? Visit Wockenfuss Candies today! ~~

_ I am already consuming one right now! _

 

_ I need more of these facts! _

 

 

_ Oh, there´s so much more! _

 

_ THIS IS GREAT!!! _

 

_ I am going to leak tear fluids everywhere... _

 

Hank’s p.o.v. (Oh boy)

Hank was late for work… Again. He had a great breakfast consisting of sugary donuts and too much soda. So his morning started out fucking great. Connor had decided to go in early, or you know… on time. So he was even allowed to blast his music way too loud. 

Today was going great.

Just great.

So imaging his surprise when he walked into the office, expecting to see Connor working at his desk, but instead seeing Gavin Reeds freaking out next to a… vibrating Connor…?                     

“Okay, what the fuck did you do? You know what? I’m not even surprised. I don’t know what I was expecting. The day was too good to be true. I have no donuts left and life is terrible and now there’s… whatever this is.”

Reed was freaking out. There was also a bag of candy on the ground. Just what the hell happened. “I- I-I don’t even know what the fuck happened. It’s just a fruit mix lollipop. He had one. Just one. I left to get shitty coffee. I came back. And he was like this. What happened. Is he not candy proof? I… I’m so confused…”

Well… Hank was definitely not ready to deal with this shit. He took a look at Connor. First of, he was shaking so fast he was vibrating. It was special. Connor still had the lollipop in his mouth. “If he reacted like this why didn’t you fucking remove the thing?” Gavin Reed threw his arms up in surrender. He looked very desperate. “Of course I tried to remove it. He just refuses to let it go. And I got an audience, so it got very awkward very fast!” Alright then. Hank walked closer. Connor was making glitching noises as well. It was some freaky shit. 

Wait…

Were that stars in his eyes?

Oh god, yes those where stars in his eyes.

“Alright, I’m taking him home.” Hank stood up and looked around the room. “If ANYONE! EVER! gives him candy again! I will personally destroy every breakable thing in your house and shove the shards in your ass! Got it!?” Everyone was nodding, looking very scared. So Hank still had it. Yay. Gavin was still standing off to the side. “Do you need help getting to the car? He can’t be very cooperative when he looks high on sugar…”  “Oh, yes. You are helping. And taking over his shift. And my shift. I don’t care if that’s not how that works or if you don’t want to. Just fucking do it.” 

Getting to the car was an absolute disaster. Connor seemed to be stuck in the sitting down position. It looked very awkward. It was like trying to carry a chair through a too thin hallway. Captain Fowler came out of his office with a cup of coffee, took a sip, spit it out as soon as he saw them, shook his head, lifted his hands in the air, turned around and closed to door behind him. It was awkward for everyone involved.

Once they put Connor in the car Gavin went back to the building and Hank started the car. Suddenly Connor jolted. “16 million everyday, holy shit!” Hank choked on his own spit. That was the first time he heard Connor swear… He started to drive. “You with me Connor?”  “I need so many more of these facts!” He squealed. So it might not be the sugar getting to Connor, but the information.

Connor…

Was high…

On information….

What had Hank’s life become? “Alright, I’m getting you to new Jericho. Not dealing with this on my own. This is not in my job description. Not my division either. They didn’t cover this shit in those weird parenting classes. We didn’t discuss this shit during the P.D.A. sensitivity training. I’m calling in the help of our resident robo jesus and or president. Not FUCKING dealing with this shit on my own! ”

HE WAS NOT!!!

**Author's Note:**

> There will be another chapter. because come on...We need everyone to deal with high Connor.  
> Also, holy shit, the amount of copy and pasting I did. The first dump is form wikipedia. For the second dump i just google fun lollipop facts. The website was very pink, but I forgot the webadress, so I hope you guys can forgive me for not including it.
> 
> Fun fact about me, after three of those small plastic cups of cola I become sugar high and start swearing without releazing it...Fun times.
> 
> Later edit. I've updating this story and writing part two, so that will come eventually. Is anyone interested in a beyond to souls, detroit become human merge, with Connor in Jodie's role?


End file.
